He snapped up from his sleep with a jolt. He could feel his heart pounding inside hard. Tiny drops of sweat moistened his forehead and he could feel his eyes burning.
He looked at the clock. it read 3 AM.
He had that dream again. He had dreamt of her again.One moment she was chuckling at him, the next moment she was on bed ,pale,screaming out the pain.This vision has been haunting him for the past 6 months.
He picked up the photograoh from above the pillow by his side.She was smilimg at him,her eyes reflecting all the happiness of the world. This was the most valuable thing he had gifted her. The smile.All the years they had been married,he didnt let the grin on her face fade away even for a single moment. He would do anything on earth just to keep her smiling. And when she giggled like a small child and chattered  out all her days work to him,he would sit in front of her,staring at her for hours,lost in her smile. Her smirk would wipe away all his weariness and drift him to an entirely different world.
They had been in an enviable marriage for 2 years before they planned to give their love a shape in the form of a baby. And that was when fate started mocking.Destiny had other plans for them.
They were in a shopping mall when she had her first attack. Like an insane person he had driven her to the doctor,only to learn the difficult name of a disease that had possessed her secretly a long time back.
And since then he had knocked the doors of several hospitals helplessly like a starved traveller does, craving for food. Only that, he craved for her to be saved, but in vain. The doctors had given up on her.But he didnot give up. He had heard that true love has healing power. Bringing her back from the grasp of darkness had become the mission of his life. He could not imagine a moment of his life without her.
The tug of war between him and Death went on for several months. He had lost his most treasured possession-her smile.And that was driving him  crazy. Every passing moment gnawed on her life bit by bit.

In a few months she had became nothing better than a living dead. The disease had already devoured her soul. It was only his love and boundless care that kept her vessel alive. What would not leave her was the pain. The excruciating pain out of which her screams would pierce the silence of the night. And he could do nothing but wail helplessly on his knees. Sometimes her screams would stab him so hard into his heart that he would close his ears with the palm of his hands and cry out loud to Heaven for help. He was losing it all. He was losing his mind,he was losing his hopes. He was losing her.

To see her suffer everyday crushed him inside.Everyday he would die slowly with her.
And that night her yells tore through the darkness of the world. That night he couldnot bear her painful cries any longer. He wanted her to be in peace. He wanted the calmness back on her face.
And that night he did it.
A final scream from her and all was quiet again. Her eyes were closed. Her face was calm. Her lips had a mild smile on them. Then he blacked out.
The nightmare still haunts him. Everyday death has been beckoning him since then. But he chose to live the pain. The pain of a life without her.Inside,he is dead.. 
And keeping him breathing, is a phootgraph that lays on the pillow beside him.


I cant see You 
But I know You are there.
I can feel You,
I feel You everywhere.

When I cry,You wipe me tears,
When I am scared You take away my fears.
The sight of Your eyes pierce through my soul.
I cant see You
But I know I am not alone.

When the midnight falls 
You make me sleep.
Oh the feel of Your touch!
It makes me weep.

When you hold me tight
Inside your arms.
I cant see You
But I feel Your warmth.

I close my eyes 
And tenderly You kiss.
I cant see You
But it feels like a bliss.

When I talk to You
Inside my mind.
You hear my thoughts
And endure my whines.
I feel Your whisper so close to me ears.
I cant see You
But I know You're always here.


You will feel me with your every breath,
You will hear my name with each heartbeat.
I will touch you within your soul,
I will make you feel you're not alone.

Close your eyes, you'll find me there.
In your dreams shall I appear.
You will hear my voice in silent  nights.
I'll talk to you when the world gets quiet.

Baby I will feel your blue
Even if Im not with you.
In your thoughts the love we make,
Its so divine,no one can take.

In your trance you'll see my face.
Im like the aura that doesnt erase.
I'll fill your life with bliss and zeal.
I'll pray that your dreams get fulfilled.

Even though now we are not so near,
But one day fate will take us there,
The castle of dreams where we shall raise,
And together spend our quixotic days..


I want to break free of the shackles
That are holding me back.
I want to smear  my life
With the colors that it lacks.
I want to fly up high
And reach for my dreams.
I want to stand on a mountain top
And ecstatically scream.
I want to giggle and play 
Like a newly born child.
I want to flutter around
Like a butterfly wild.
I want to cry out loud
Whenever things go bad.
I want to sing aloud
Whenever i am sad.
I want to lay down beneath the stars
And hear the tune they play.
I want to stand amidst the meadows
With the breeze as they sway.
I want to sit back quiet and
listen to the sea as it roars.
I want to build the castlesof dream
Along the entire seashore.
As the first rain falls,
I want to kiss every drop.
With each pristine day
I want to feel a new hope.