STRANGER IN THE MIRROR.....

Mirror mirror on the wall,solve the mystery of my soul”,I whisper to the person on the other side of the mirror.

But my mirror only reflects back the earthly body that Ive been bearing for the past 25 yrs.Encased within this cascade of flesh and blood is a soul that totally unknown to me.
Who am I? I often wonder. Why am I?
I try to look deep into the eyes of my own reflection,as if trying to reach within my own self.
But I get lost.Lost in a maze of broken dreams and unfulfilled desires.
My eyes reveal no secret of my soul.My mind like a plank tossing in a vast ocean of variegated thoughts.
I close my eyes and try to feel my own heartbeat,with and attempt to figure out the meaning of the rhythmic lub dub sound.I feel an emptiness within me,a never ending void.I feel a deep excruciating pain inside.
My eyes getting moist,my vision getting blurred.
I try to think about my closed ones.Smiling faces in sepia appear in my mind-mom,dad,boyfriend,my family.
Yet why this chasm,why this void?Why this weird pain inside?Why this incompleteness in my eyes.
What is the quest of my soul,I know not.What is the destination i crave to reach?
Who is this stranger in my mirror?

SLEEPLESS NIGHT....

It was  raining heavily.

She returned  home after the hard work of her day,heavy hearted.That was the last place she wanted to be in after he had left.The house haunted her.It was the same place that once used to be her heaven.
It was almost midnight by the time she had come back.She had an official party to attend after her working hours.
She usually didnt like going to parties much,specially without him but now that was a good excuse to keep herself away from her home as much as possible.Few months back she was always in a hurry  to get back home,to return back to him.But now things had changed.
It had been almost 6 moonths that he had left leaving her alone in an empty,meaningless world.Lots of things had changed in this period of time except her loneliness.She had tried hard to get rid of it but it was always with her like a faithful friend.It was all that he had left her with.
She unlocked her doors and turned on the light.The days hard work had made her tired but she knew she wouldnot be able to sleep.Thats how it had been for the past 6 months.
She freshened herself up and went to her bedroom.It haunted her all the more.She turned off the main light.Dim blue light flooded the room.
She looked at the pillow by her side.It was empty and abandoned.She buried her face in it.It still smelled of his shampoo.
She could feel hot tears filled in her eyes.She tried in vain to stop them. When she raised her face the pillow was all wet and she was sobbing hard like a baby.
His nightdress was her only company in bed after he was gone.She held it tight in her chest.It smelled of his perfume and sweat.She never had washed it after the last time he wore it.She cried out loudly.But the sounds of her loneliness were lost in the sounds of the thunders outside.It was thunderstorms again today.
She had always been scared of thunders.And on such nights she used to throw herself in his arms and bury her face in her chest and he used to hold her tight like a panicstriken baby caress her hair and whisper softly in her ear.His arms were the safest place on earth for her.But now she could just wrap her hands around herself and cry aloud in vain to get back the softness of his embrace again.
She cried till her eyes turned red and puffy.She took her phone and listened to his voice that she had recorded at the good old times.She knew she would never listen to this voice again.She kept the recording on repeat and curled up herself at his side of the bed,waiting for another painful, sleepless night to get over.








.

A MIDNIGHT DREAM...

As the blue night falls,
I wait for you,
As you tiptoe into my room,
And slowly sit by my side,
you look into my eyes,
And softly keep your hands on mine,
I bury my face in your chest,
And you softly kiss my forehead,
Your touch takes away,
All the pain the world has given me,
You caress my hair,
And whisper into my ears,
Your breath takes away,
All my loneliness,
You take the rolling drop of my tear,
On your fingertips,
And touch my eyes with your lips,
The warmth of your arms around me,
Take all the worldly agony,
In my dreams you are mine forever,
But in my life, you are just a midnight dream.

I MISS YOU....

Often in the cold dark moments
I sit all alone,
Wearing the warmth of your thoughts
Closing my eyes and
Wrapping my hands around myself.
Though you are with me no more,
But I still feel you,
In the silence of these moments.

Even though we are apart,
Yet you survive within me.
In my mind and soul,
In every drop of tear that flows
In every beat of my heart,
In every deep sigh that comes within me.

The tears dry as the moments tick by,
But the pain does not die.
And the wound still survives,
A waiting heart still calls your name
A dying soul still cries.
"Come back...I MISS YOU".

DARK NIGHT....

That was a night of an evil storm,

That was a night in disastrous form.

That was a night of endless tears,

That was a night of worst nightmares.

That was a night of shattered dreams,

That was a night of painful screams .

That was a night of broken heart,

That was a night I tore apart.

That was a night of suffering soul,

That was a night, darkest of all.

That was a night of last adieu,

That was the night when I lost you.

I WONDER

You left my hand and walked away
And I stood there
Watching you go
Wondering what wrong I had done

You didnot turn
You didnot look back
And I stood there
I wanted to cry
I wanted to shout
I wanted to stop you
But I just stood still
Wondering what wrong I had done

My heart ached of utmost pain
When memories haunted me
My mind filled with deepest sorrow
As I stood there
Watching you go
And wondering what wrong I had done

Unanswered questions flooded my mind
And unfulfilled promises mocked at me
Incomplete dreams pricked mt eyes
When I stood there
Wondering what wrong I had done

Days have gone and years have passed
But memories did not fade
I still remember you
Every night and day
Silent tears continue to flow
I go back to the same place
And stand there for hours
Still wondering what wrong I had done

When she sat by the side of the river... forever...

She sat by the side of the river in the moonlight night. The cold breeze blowed and the sound of the river was breaking the silence of the night. The river water was shimmering. The face of the moon in the water shimmered along with. It resembled someone. It resembled him. He, who was no more there. She wept, the tear drops falling down from her eyes shone with the moonlight and sparkled like bright diamonds. Every tear was a sign of remembrance. Remembrance of the moments that were gone and would never comeback. Every tear had the brightness of her dreams. Dreams that she had once seen with him. Dreams that were her hope. Dreams that were her reason to live. Dreams that were being shattered one by one in the form of tears.
 The wind touched her everywhere. She shivered. It was as soft and gentle a touch as his. She closed her eyes to feel it. Memories of the good old days flashed in her mind. What went wrong she thought. Everything was so perfect. This was the place where she used to sit with him, every night and spent hours of togetherness. The river, the trees, the mountains and the stars, greeted them. She would sit close to him, with his hands wrapping around her and her head on his chest. And they would stare at the moon for hours. His inconspicuous face in the moonlight night was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. He would hold her hand and whisper the words of love in her ears. Every word along with the sound of the river seemed like a music in her ears. That was the music of her life. The brightness of his eyes was the light of her life. The beat of his heart was the rhythm of her universe. He was all she ever dreamt off. He was the reason of her existence.
 She wrapped her hands around herself. Suddenly the wind felt so cold and sharp and was cutting through her flesh. The sound of the river disappeared. The moon light was so dark. The mountains at a distance looked like unknown demons coming to engulf her. The world was so silent. She felt scared. She felt lonely. She felt devastated. “I miss you…” she screamed “come back to me…”; there was no answer. Her voice hit the mountains and was thrown back to her. Even they didn’t want her words anymore. The universe no longer needed her. The meaning of her existence was lost. She un-wrapped her hands and opened her eyes to look around. The river was screaming, and moon was burning like a ball of fire, the leaves of the trees whispered like the evils from the hell. She held the wrist of her left hand with her right hand and closed her eyes again.
His face appeared in front of her. He had the same smile on his face that made her forget all her pain; the smile that she would die for. A deep sigh came out from within her. It brought along with all her dreams, her hopes, her emotions, her feelings and her pain. Now she was empty inside, blood ticked down her left hand. Her sharp nails had cut through her flesh and reached her veins, but she felt no pain, she could see him at a distance with his arms open wide. The noise of the world disappeared. She could hear his voice now. And she could hear music. She could feel his touch again. And then there was nothing. He lifeless body, lied on the wet grass by the side of the river, like a flower freshly fallen from a tree, a dry leaf form somewhere fell on her body as if to cover her. The tears dried in her cheeks the blood from her hand tricked down and was absorbed in the ground below, Thus she was back to him again….