She froze...It was invariably the same face only with a few wrinkles on it.. They were the same eyes that had haunted her for so many years..She immediately turned her face away to escape the vision of those dreadful eyes. She felt sick at the pit of her stomach.
She closed her eyes just as the airplane took off.. Old memories flooded her mind and nauseated her.Her mind raced back to the old campus,the first few days of her college life.
Freshly out of school Liz was quite excited about being a grown up college girl now.Life seemed so beautiful and fancy free with the friends around.
And then it happened. .Something that she had been longing for all her life till now.She had read about it in novels,seen it in movies,but the feeling,she felt it on that beautiful afternoon  when her eyes met his.There he was on the corner table of the college canteen.And she could feel the "funny thing" happeneing at stomach that she used to read about in books.
She was too shy to share it with any of her friends but her best friend Jenny could make it out from her eyes.
"Hey, I guess u already have a girly crush on him"
"Nothing like that"Liz  blushed
Liz had always been the innocent shy types since childhood.She was a dreamer who was always lost in dreams of her Prince Charming who she believed would someday appear in front of hers,take her hands into his and drift her to the magical world of love.
"Come on Liz,Im ur best friend. You can tell me" Jenny said.
"Who is he?"
"Oh thas intern".
"I was just wondering why is he alone all the time,nithong else"Liz gave a shy smile.
"May be hes one of those unfriendly uncool types...come on we'r getting late for class."
That night Liz dreamt of those dark brown eyes.They were radiating all the passion, all the love form them.They  were brimming with dreams.
She kept eyeing him secrtetly every day but never did she have the courage to bring the slightest signs of emotions on her face.
That afternoon Liz was sitting alone in the library.
"Hi" ... an unfamilier voice interrupted her concentration.
Her heart skipped a beat when she looked up to see those deep dark brown eyes.
"Hi..i",she stammered
"May I?",he pulled out the chair opposite to her
Liz was running short of words.She just gave a wry smile.
She doesnot know how the next few hours or as a matter of fact the next few days passed.She had never been so happy in her life.
The long after college hours spent in the nearby coffee shop were like magic.

( 2 wks later)

.It was a cold winter afternoon.They were sitting leisurly in the usual coffee shop.
"Tommorow is the last day of my internship Liz. I wll have to fly ovrseas after that for higher studies." Richard sighed.
" I know". Liz frowned.
"I have arranged for something special today evening for you and me".
" Oh what is it" asked a grinning Liz
"Just a romantic dinner for the two of us at my place tonight”
"Your place?" Liz hesitated.She wasnt sure if that was a very good idea. Afterall it ahd just been 2 weeks.But then she trusted him.He was the guy from her dreams
That evening Liz wore one of her prettiest dresses.That was the last evening with Richard before he would come back for her and she wanted it to be really special.
The door was opened by Richard himself.
"Welcome Liz",he grinned and led her inside where two other guys were sitting leisuresly.
"They are my pals.They wanted to meet you so I called them over."
Liz felt a pang of anger.Jacob had never mentioned any friends for the evening.She decided to linger on for some few uneasy minutes and leave.
"Make yourself comfortable Liz,"one of them smiled offering her a glass of wine.
"I dont drinke" Liz replied politely.
"'Oh come on Liz ,be a sport",Richard said.
Liz looked up at him surprizingly.He knew what kind of a girl she was,still how could he say this?
"Im sorry,I just remembered I have some work.Ive gotta go."Liz stood up
"Hey whats the hurry?" one of them held her hands from behind. A chill ran down her spine.She freed her hands with a jerk and hurrried towards the door..
"Whats the hurry sweetheart",Richard crossed her path.."the evening has just begun".
She looked at the dark brown eyes to find not love, but a cruel animalism,hunger and greed.
All she remembered about her last few minutes of consciousness was the excruciating pain inside her,faces of three insatiated beasts on top of her,a terrible heartache and thoses sharp dark brown eyes piercing through her soul ripping apart her dream and shattering her fairyland.
Her thoughts were broken by the sudden landing of the aircraft.She opened her eyes to feel her heart pounding like a horse.
Right behind here,lost in his own sweet world was the man who had killed the timid,innocent dreamer and was responsible for what she was today.She wasnt Liz anymore,she was Carlotte,a cold blooded high society escort carrying a bruised heart and a sieved mind inside.


He snapped up from his sleep with a jolt. He could feel his heart pounding inside hard. Tiny drops of sweat moistened his forehead and he could feel his eyes burning.
He looked at the clock. it read 3 AM.
He had that dream again. He had dreamt of her again.One moment she was chuckling at him, the next moment she was on bed ,pale,screaming out the pain.This vision has been haunting him for the past 6 months.
He picked up the photograoh from above the pillow by his side.She was smilimg at him,her eyes reflecting all the happiness of the world. This was the most valuable thing he had gifted her. The smile.All the years they had been married,he didnt let the grin on her face fade away even for a single moment. He would do anything on earth just to keep her smiling. And when she giggled like a small child and chattered  out all her days work to him,he would sit in front of her,staring at her for hours,lost in her smile. Her smirk would wipe away all his weariness and drift him to an entirely different world.
They had been in an enviable marriage for 2 years before they planned to give their love a shape in the form of a baby. And that was when fate started mocking.Destiny had other plans for them.
They were in a shopping mall when she had her first attack. Like an insane person he had driven her to the doctor,only to learn the difficult name of a disease that had possessed her secretly a long time back.
And since then he had knocked the doors of several hospitals helplessly like a starved traveller does, craving for food. Only that, he craved for her to be saved, but in vain. The doctors had given up on her.But he didnot give up. He had heard that true love has healing power. Bringing her back from the grasp of darkness had become the mission of his life. He could not imagine a moment of his life without her.
The tug of war between him and Death went on for several months. He had lost his most treasured possession-her smile.And that was driving him  crazy. Every passing moment gnawed on her life bit by bit.

In a few months she had became nothing better than a living dead. The disease had already devoured her soul. It was only his love and boundless care that kept her vessel alive. What would not leave her was the pain. The excruciating pain out of which her screams would pierce the silence of the night. And he could do nothing but wail helplessly on his knees. Sometimes her screams would stab him so hard into his heart that he would close his ears with the palm of his hands and cry out loud to Heaven for help. He was losing it all. He was losing his mind,he was losing his hopes. He was losing her.

To see her suffer everyday crushed him inside.Everyday he would die slowly with her.
And that night her yells tore through the darkness of the world. That night he couldnot bear her painful cries any longer. He wanted her to be in peace. He wanted the calmness back on her face.
And that night he did it.
A final scream from her and all was quiet again. Her eyes were closed. Her face was calm. Her lips had a mild smile on them. Then he blacked out.
The nightmare still haunts him. Everyday death has been beckoning him since then. But he chose to live the pain. The pain of a life without her.Inside,he is dead.. 
And keeping him breathing, is a phootgraph that lays on the pillow beside him.


I cant see You 
But I know You are there.
I can feel You,
I feel You everywhere.

When I cry,You wipe me tears,
When I am scared You take away my fears.
The sight of Your eyes pierce through my soul.
I cant see You
But I know I am not alone.

When the midnight falls 
You make me sleep.
Oh the feel of Your touch!
It makes me weep.

When you hold me tight
Inside your arms.
I cant see You
But I feel Your warmth.

I close my eyes 
And tenderly You kiss.
I cant see You
But it feels like a bliss.

When I talk to You
Inside my mind.
You hear my thoughts
And endure my whines.
I feel Your whisper so close to me ears.
I cant see You
But I know You're always here.


You will feel me with your every breath,
You will hear my name with each heartbeat.
I will touch you within your soul,
I will make you feel you're not alone.

Close your eyes, you'll find me there.
In your dreams shall I appear.
You will hear my voice in silent  nights.
I'll talk to you when the world gets quiet.

Baby I will feel your blue
Even if Im not with you.
In your thoughts the love we make,
Its so divine,no one can take.

In your trance you'll see my face.
Im like the aura that doesnt erase.
I'll fill your life with bliss and zeal.
I'll pray that your dreams get fulfilled.

Even though now we are not so near,
But one day fate will take us there,
The castle of dreams where we shall raise,
And together spend our quixotic days..


I want to break free of the shackles
That are holding me back.
I want to smear  my life
With the colors that it lacks.
I want to fly up high
And reach for my dreams.
I want to stand on a mountain top
And ecstatically scream.
I want to giggle and play 
Like a newly born child.
I want to flutter around
Like a butterfly wild.
I want to cry out loud
Whenever things go bad.
I want to sing aloud
Whenever i am sad.
I want to lay down beneath the stars
And hear the tune they play.
I want to stand amidst the meadows
With the breeze as they sway.
I want to sit back quiet and
listen to the sea as it roars.
I want to build the castlesof dream
Along the entire seashore.
As the first rain falls,
I want to kiss every drop.
With each pristine day
I want to feel a new hope.