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Do you hear me crying?
Do you see that inside Im dying?
A gruelling pain gnawing on my heart
Do you see is ripping me apart?
Do you see the tears disguised as smile
Is stabbing my mind all the while?
The sieved soul inside my shell
Is sobbing like a battered child?
Do you see I try to hide
The wound you gave
Though it doesnt let me thrive.
With every smirk I try to fake
My spirit dies another death.
Do you know I spend my nights
Thinking bout how you denied
The fact that you were ever mine,
Quelling a love so divine.
And now, when that you are gone
'Coz I hate being on my own,
I just lift my hands and pray,
Heaven take my life away..
Beneath the giant oak tree
He kneels.
With a red rose in his hands.
In the old church graveyard.
Before him a gravestone stands.
I sit just beside him.
As the moonlight gleams his eyes
They shimmer like a teeming mere.
He looks up to the sky.
His lips are sealed
But he speaks a thousand words
Of love that I can feel.
A lonely tear moistenes his cheeks.
I reach out for it to wipe
But I cant touch him.
This feeling I cannot describe.
I watch him cry,I watch him pine.
Like a sook,I watch him, whine.
I yearn to spiel
To consol him.
But I stay quiet and silently scream.
We are so near
And yet so far.
A chasm between us that'll never disappear.
By the game of the cruel fate,
We are apart by life and death.
On the grave stone that bears my name
He keeps the rose
And lights a candle flame.
The flickering blaze of the candle light
Makes the cenotaph blessed and bright.
I want him to stop
I want him to stay.
But I blankly stare
As he walks away..
.
There are times, good and bad;
Times am happy,ytimes am sad.
There are times I rip apart
There are times I break at heart.
But the time thats divine and true
Is the time I spend with U.
There are times when life betrays
There are times when no one stays.
There are times when all goes wrong,
There are times when nights seem long.
But the time when dreams pursue
Is the time i spend with you.
Time is friend and time is foe,
It takes you high and brings you low.
It hurts you bad,it wipes your tears.
It leaves a scar that doesnot disappear.
But the zeal it cant sublime..
Our story written in sands of time..
Lonely memories torment my mind'
At the middle of the long sad night.
When the cheater sleep ditches my eyes
I hug my pillow tight
Just to feel Im still by your side.
The cruel distance maims my life,
A mutilated soul inside just cries.
To itself my longing heart lies,
Someday again you will come by.
The days have gone,the years have passed.
But the wound you left me behind still hurts.
Your thoughts elude, your presence still lingers,
When the lonely memories still rip me apart.
A lonely mind.
An empty heart.
A restless soul weeps.
The silent night.
And the long forgotten tale
Of a betrayed love.
The distant cry of a nightbird.
The lour sky stares.
A ticking clock
Gnawing on the broken pieces
Of a maimed life.
An unfaithful face eludes
Behind the closed eyes.
A perennial wait.
A deep sigh.
A helpless drop of tear,
And the musings of a defeated mind.
The wounded dreams.
The extinct happiness.
A cuckold life.
Foster slave of a cruel fate
Mirror mirror on the wall,solve the mystery of my soul”,I whisper to the person on the other side of the mirror.
But my mirror only reflects back the earthly body that Ive been bearing for the past 25 yrs.Encased within this cascade of flesh and blood is a soul that totally unknown to me.
Who am I? I often wonder. Why am I?
I try to look deep into the eyes of my own reflection,as if trying to reach within my own self.
But I get lost.Lost in a maze of broken dreams and unfulfilled desires.
My eyes reveal no secret of my soul.My mind like a plank tossing in a vast ocean of variegated thoughts.
I close my eyes and try to feel my own heartbeat,with and attempt to figure out the meaning of the rhythmic lub dub sound.I feel an emptiness within me,a never ending void.I feel a deep excruciating pain inside.
My eyes getting moist,my vision getting blurred.
I try to think about my closed ones.Smiling faces in sepia appear in my mind-mom,dad,boyfriend,my family.
Yet why this chasm,why this void?Why this weird pain inside?Why this incompleteness in my eyes.
What is the quest of my soul,I know not.What is the destination i crave to reach?
Who is this stranger in my mirror?
Sneha was blankly staring down at the cup of mocha in front of her,stirring it aimlessly.Another cup of coffee was getting cold in front of Rohit,at the opposite side of the table.They were sitting across the same corner table of the coffee shop,where they used to spend hours of togetherness,specially after bunking the boring afternoon session of college.
Had it been a few years back,there would have been a kiddish fight over a single cup of mocha,favorite to both of them,as to who would sip the froth on it.
“So,how has life been?”Rohit broke the silence..”Gud”,Sneha faked a smile.
Sneha was married for 3 yrs now..And they had not seen or spoken to each other since then.The only connection they had were in their midnight dreams.And today,here they were again,in that same old place,was nothing more than serendipity.
“U stil look like a Diva”,Rohit said after long minutes of staring at her. She indeed did.She looked even more beautiful wrapped in that pink saree and with that small dot of sindoor on her forehead.Rohit had always wanted to see her like that. Today his wish was fulfilled,only that,the sindoor was for somebody else.She looked just the same,except that the shine of her eyes were lost,probably lost forever.
“And you look handsome for a change”,she said.
“I ought to.You had spent long hours improving my dressing sense those days”,said Rohit.
Sneha smiled again,this time a genuine one,remembering how stupid he looked in his college days.
She closed her eyes.Her mind raced back in time,to the campus,the day she had first met him.And it was not a month before she realized how deeply she had fallen in love with him.Since then she had never neede a better reason to live and to be happy.He had meant the world to her.He was the end of her quest for love.He was her destination.He was the face of her dreams.They had started spinning their
world of dreams until life ditched both of them,once again proving that dreams are never meant to be real.”
“Your coffee is getting colder Princess”.Thats what he used to call her.She was indeed the princess of his
dreams.And though he desperately wanted to be the lucky prince,but somewhere at the back of his mind he always knew that he was just the knight,taking care of her until the prince actually owns her.
“So when you planning to get married?”asked Sneha.
“Im not.Dont wanna spoil a girl’s life.”he replied sipping at his coffee,”do u still like gol gappas? Lets have a competetion again”.
“Not today Rohit,may be some other time”
“Theres no some other time Sneha.Im flying to States next week with a project.You know Im well settled
now.Settled enough to deserve a princess.But look at the game of life,my princess already belongs to somebody else.”
Sneha could see the drop of tear at the corner of his eyes fighting to roll down.
They kept looking at each other and both could feel the excruciating pain within them,the pain they had felt 3 yrs back.The devastating silence was broken by the ringtone of Snehas cellphone.
“I have to make a move,my husband has come to pick me.My phone no...”
“I dont want your no Sneha.Just be happy.Thats what I have always wanted for you.”
Sneha faught back the lump in her throat and looked at Rohit.Then turned back and started walking towards reality.
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