SELF MUSE…

 Twenty twenty to twenty twenty five,

Has taken away so much from my life.

The house that had nurtured me that far

Came crumbling down upon the earth.

The walls that once were my home,

Reduced to ruins ,lying around like tomb

Of memories of a childhood lost,

Buried under dirty layers of  moss.

My father was as strong as rock;

The clot in brain came as a shock.

A tug of war between life and death

And though he won the fight against fate,

The disease left him a skull with hole

And took a large chunk of his soul.

Two wrinkled hands that cradled me,

And fulfilled my childish necessities,

The lap that nestled my teenage soul

Protecting from the world foul.

That granddad’s body burnt to ashes

Infront of me as I stood helpless.

Twenty twenty to twenty five

Has snatched a lot from my life.

#selfmuse.

                                  TRUTH

                

 Life gets crueller as we grow

It slaps us with truth we never want to know

We lose loved ones, life unmasks some,

It spews bitter facts that make us numb. 

Life gets harder as we grow 

From hundred friends to sometimes zero.

“Well wishers” abandon , some fake ones stay

To backstab, deceive and betray.

Life gets brutally honest with age

It reveals who’s the sinner and who’s the sage

It bursts all bubbles, opens our eyes 

To a world full of fraud and lies.

Life gets more real as we grow

It teaches us to deal with the sorrow. 

Every moment life makes it known

In this vast wide world we’re on our own. 

LOST…

 Where is my childhood?

Where have I left it behind?

Where have I lost it

In the way of life?

When parents were bubbly

And grandparents alive.

Where is my childhood 

Where are those days so bright?

When tension and stress were foreign words

And Mom and dad were my buffers.

When siblings were just a room away

And not on the opposite side of the earth.

Where is my childhood?

When home meant being with loved ones 

And not just an address on Aadhar.

When grandma’s cooked food 

Could beat five  Michelin stars.

When the bedtime stories by grandpa

Were as good as meditation.

When papas assuring hand on hand

Was more affective than a modern day

“Therapy” session. 

Where is my childhood 

When eyes were so full of dreams?

Where have I lost my childhood 

On my way to life!

TO YOU…FROM ME

 

Love is a heavy word

I can’t bear the weight of it anymore

All I know is that I need u to be

With me, whether close or afar.

Be with me in watever way.

Just be with me cs I can’t stay.

Your feel lingers it refuses to leave.

Dreams of urs don’t let me sleep.

Ways from my heart all lead to u…

But destinys mocks a love that’s true

The universe too laughed at us

Now “right person wrong time” is our status.

In another life in another time

I know that you are mine.

I wish to die ,be born again

In a world where you I gain.

In a world where you and I

Together get to do a life…

Until then to my stars I pray,

To align themselves in such way,

Near or far , close or apart

Dwell forever in my heart.

REGRET

One day you will turn back,

But behind you, 

Will be a vast chasm. 

Because I will be long gone. 

And by the time you realise, 

I will be in a place, 

Where true  love is a reality.

APPEAL

 

Dear time,

Stop.

Please take a few steps back. 

Let’s go back to the era.

When my parents’ hair were black.

When their hands were not so wrinkled 

And face didnt look so tired.

Dear time ,please turn back

May of scenescence they be spared.

Dear time, 

please stop

My grandparents aren’t well

Their souls are now so fragile,

The old age is so cruel. 

Dear time 

Please turn around .

Please give me some more hours,

To hold them and be with them.

Time, please go a bit slower.

Dear time 

Stop right there.

Look my baby is growing up soon.

Let’s go back to when she happened

One golden afternoon?

Time , please wait a bit more,

I haven’t held her enough yet. 

I am not Done loving her wholly,

Please halt, please don’t haste.

Time , please be patient

I have so much more to do.

For the loved ones in my life.

And so less left of you.

Dear time please freeze now

You are moving way too fast.

Please go back to the yesteryears

And make the moments last. 

CERTAINTY…

Life is fake

Death real.

Life gives wounds

That death heals

Life betrayes,

While death stays

Life eludes;

But death is truth.

Life is bitter 

Death seems sweeter.

Life is tough

Death shows love.

Life disposes,

Death embraces. 

SCHIZOPHRENIC….

 

They say I’m crazy

And you are my hallucination.

If for you to exist

I have to be mad

Then so be it.

MUSING HEART…

In my mind

I have made love to u

A thousand times.

Did u feel me too?

As I lay raw beside u

My soul was nude.

I am a book

Waiting to be read. 

Do u want to go through?

The other half of my heart is long missing.

Do u feel as lost as me?

My soul wanders in a vast emptiness

Can u come and find me? 

As I get engulfed by a darkness

Will u lit me up? 

In your eyes I find my light

Will you keep me shining bright?

RAW…

Death whispers to me

In the silence of the night.

I’m here for you, it says.

If ever life betrays,

You can count upon me;

For I’m the loyal one.

GRATITUDE

Thank you

For showing me 

True love doesn’t exist 

For making me realize that

Soulmates are a myth.

Also, that, forever is a sham

Thank you 

for opening my eyes

To promises, they are just scams.

Grateful to have you

As a lesson in my life.

Thank you 

for being the pain

I courageously survived. 

Commitments are false

I finally know this now.

Trust is so trivial

It gets played with somehow.

The everlasting loneliness

Is the only truth that triumphs.

Heartache and melancholy 

Along with it comes.

Happily ever after is 

Just a bunch of words.

Thank you 

for showing me

Loving hurts like a sword.

MIND SPEAKS

 

I learnt it the hard way

That life is a journey so lone

We are alone inside the womb

In our graves we are alone. 

It took me a lot of pain

To embrace the lemons of life

To stand up after every blow

It took so many sleepless nights. 

The long lonely dusks have seen

Me bawling like an orphaned child.

The last rays of the restless dawns

 has comforted my weary eyes.

The emptiness that’s inside my heart 

Is meant to stay that way. 

No one else completes us

It’s the self ,till end , who stays.

I  befriended my demons

And made peace with my fears.

I forced myself  to smile again

After wiping my own tears. 

SILENT THOUGHTS...

If ever I’m lost in blue,

Will you shed a tear or two?

Will you sit by my gravestone

And miss the way I had loved you?

If ever life takes a turn,

I travel to the land of no return 

Will you take some time out

To mourn the truth that I am gone?

Will you smell the clothes i wore?

Will you still sit at the door

Waiting in vain for me to come?

And then remember im no more.

Will you miss the way we faught?

And then, the way we laughed a lot;

Will you miss my endless nags

Or will you find the peace you sought?

Will you let go way too fast?

Will you forget me at last?

Life moves on ,but love does not

My soul will keep living the past. 

ODE...

Once there was a little miracle

My womb was the only world she knew,

Our heartbeats were synced together 

Bit by bit inside me she grew.

Out came the little miracle 

On my lap she giggled and played.

Her smile brightened up my whole world

Her voice made my mind so fresh. 

Day by day I watched her grow

Like a blooming morning flower.

Her love for me along with poured

Like the early monsoon showers.

Her hard hugs soothed my daily blues,

Her gestures blessed my life’s value. 

 Her aura so blissful, pure

She made me feel so secure. 

 

Like the first beam of sunlight,

Her touch made me feel alive. 

Like the pristine morning breeze,

Her being helped me survive. 

My small wonder is growing now, 

Inch by inch her wings get built. 

One day she will fly away.

Thenceforth I will droop and wilt. 

LOST...

I dont know what im dreaming  ‘bout

I dont know who I miss.

I donno the place I am homesick for

If really does exists. 

UNTIED

 

I’ve learnt to live without you.

After a rough journey of expectations 

And disappointments 

And expectations again,

I finally now know 

How to let go. 

I was latched onto you

Like a miserable soul

Thinking that someday

You ll make me whole. 

It took me endless ,sleepless nights

To make my heart 

So harsh and cold.

My dried up eyes now shed no tears

Or hopeless sighs say no more prayers

I have learnt to embrace the ache

The lonely air causes no more drear. 

I dont now sit in dark lone rooms,

Surrounded by the eerie gloom,

And feeling like a forlorn stray.

 I now want you to keep away.

I have now set you free

You in my life ,I no more see

True love has now tiptoed slowly,

At last I am in love with me

SILENT MURDER..

Pyres burning everywhere 

And suffering all around

Moribund screams fill the ears

And death toll knows no bound

Grim reaper treads the face of earth

In search of souls so damned

Hell has descended upon the world 

Life is now a sham. 

The cosmos burns with violent rage

Engulfing all mankind

The curse of God consumes the race

Mercy is now denied.

What was once a sprightly land

Is now  a large graveyard

Earth is now godforsaken

smell of death now soaks the air

Nature has claimed her planet back

From the grasp of cruel slayers

We have Her blood on our hands

We are the betrayers.